Dear Fairy Godmother,

I know you’ve been very busy recently hovering benignantly over other fellow sufferers, but I was wondering if I could book an appointment with you some time soon. I believe that a check up is in order.
I’d like to be all dramatic and say that I’m a mess; it makes readers picture a dishevelled, haggard, underfed creature with bad skin; the truth is, I’m not quite crumbled up yet, and I still have a tan. But I do have a few wishes:
First of all, I would very much need a prescription for Self-Esteem Restorer in 40mg tablets; it’s been heavily crumpled, you see. A month’s supply should do the trick, after that I’ll take care of it myself. A no side-effect formula, please. We don’t want me to go all crazy with it. It’s a fine line as it is.

Then I would like a supply of Generosity Gelcaps. They might help with the emerging anger; they might help alleviate the urge to count points, settle scores that, maybe, don’t need to be settled. Ever.

Finally, I’d be grateful for a large jar of 50mg Hubris pills, to last me for a few months at least. You see, at some point I need to go out there, don’t I, and start all over again.

You might, O mighty Fairy Godmother, want to sit me down and give me a stern lecture on falling in love with people six thousand miles away.

Oh, and, if I may, I would be so grateful if after sorting me out, you would accept to go and look after a dear friend of mine over there in Turin. I believe her need to be just as great as mine.

I apologise if I am sounding awfully demanding; it’s just that all this grown-up business of always to have to sort out everything by myself feels rather overwhelming right now. I thought of asking Dame Edna, but she is still in California ministering over other unfortunates.
I look forward to your appearing in a purple glittery haze. Any time of day or night is fine by me.

Yours faithfully,
Your ever-grateful goddaughter.