What’s in a name, etc

1) At that time I wanted a girlfriend called Chris. Chris. A pebble of a name, smooth on the tongue, with just a hint of sharpness, and ambiguous enough for those who don’t need to know better (work, grandmothers, postman.). ‘What’s your boyfriend’s name?’ ‘Chris’, I would have said with just a shadow of a smile. Yes, I would have liked a girlfriend called Chris. I didn’t know any Chrises. Now it just strikes me as boring; or rather, it doesn’t strike me at all. I won’t give a Chris a second look.

2) Ok, I say, let’s say you have amnesia, you have forgotten your name and you can pick a brand new one for yourself. Don’t say ‘I don’t know’, just pick one. I’m in a bossy mood.
I’d have to think about it, she replies.
Cop out. Think now. Long? Short?
Short.
Girl’s name? Mildred? Margaret? What’s worse than Mildred? I know what’s worse. Molly. Especially because in French ‘molle’ means ‘limp’. It’s all wrong. That’s a million times worse than anything. In my first year English class, we had to have English names; my teacher called me Molly. I had a little card with Molly on my desk. Scarred, I am. In the second year we could choose. I had very little sense then, I picked Tracy. So. Boy’s name? Either?
Not a girl’s name.
Of course not.
We call my dad Joe, but that’s not his name.
Oh?
No. His name’s Alexander.
Of course. So you could be called Charlotte, and we could call you….
Brian.

We settle for Brian.

3) Maybe people called Dave have a better chance of pulling than those called Trevor. Maybe Alex is more desirable than Edna. Or Brigid, which spellcheckers change into 'frigid' if you're not careful, and that's unfortunate. I don't really have a punch line and it's lunch time.