Nightclubbing with an agenda

Interesting conversation tonight with my long-time friend I. She is by nature a very bubbly, warm person, immediately at ease in any situation, eager to talk to people and make new friends, generous with her laugh and her enthusiasm. She returned to live in France after a few years’ lull in Portugal and has tried to rebuild a circle of friends; it involves kicking her own ass to go out, and start again from scratch. Over the past few weeks she was not a little puzzled to hear comments about herself and her behaviour: some guys she met in social contexts thought that she was shamelessly flirting with them; a few girls thought she was shamelessly flirting with them and were quite repelled that there should be some lesbian in their midst.
She felt she had to put this question to me, as a Certified Lesbian and Giver of Useful Advice : is there anything in her behaviour that brands her a member of the team? Not that she’d mind if she thought she had indeed been flirting shamelessly; but she’d rather know about what signals she is giving out – most unwillingly.
Well. It just looks to me that her main fault is to be utterly devoid of the aura of competition and envying insecurity that most French girls are literally wrapped in. She won’t compete, try and be the most popular, sexiest girl in the room. She won’t put her opponents down, because she has no opponents; she’s without the agenda of the prowling female. She is, as I said, warm and easy to talk to; she also shrugs at the common artifices of the latest fashion and her array is always infinitely individual. Only those idiotic girls, too worried about their image and too unsure about their own sexuality, can’t quite get it. I can’t help but think she’s in the wrong country.
She’s quite a catch; I hope she knows it.