Deflated but still bouncy

So, internet, I had a date last night.
No, not that kind of date.
What do you take me for? Do you think I’m ready to go out and seduce people already? Even un-troll like people?
Well, I’m not.
Anyway, I had a date. With a girl, yes.
I know.
Trust me, internet, getting a date is the easy part. I probably don’t need to tell you that.
Anyway, it was a Friend Date. I think I made my terms clear.
I just won’t talk about the Break Up really, and since there is little else on my mind I’m just about the best listener in town right now. Take me out on a date, and you’ll see.
She was clearly very nervous to meet a complete stranger, so I did my best facilitator impression. After she was done being nervous, it became clear that she really really liked me; maybe because I just listened so well… so I took her for dinner to Garlic and Shots, where the aim of the game is to ingurgitate various garlicky comestibles. I thought garlic would act as a deterrent, you see.
I came back home fairly inebriated and with hyena’s halitosis.

Now I have a new Dyke Goth friend I can go on various outings with.I also have a splendid hangover.

(Boy, does she drink.)