1. Oh, look, we're meant to be all romantic today.

2. Perhaps the following extract from a recent conversation will illustrate just how romantic I am:

- So -I digress from something completely different , probably - yeah, in Ivory Coast we used to go out into the forest with that giant butterfly net and catch them for my fucked up step father's collection. Which got eaten up by moths anyway.
- I can picture you catching butterflies.. it sounds like such a delicate thing to do..
- mm here's where I shatter all your dreams and tell you the ugly truth about butterfly hunting.
- .......?
- Do you know what's the best way to attract butterflies? Especially the rarest species?
- no...?
- You take a massive dump. Then they literally flock to you. Herds of butterflies. That's how you catch' em. Honest.

He laughed. Phew. I didn't ruin it all after all.

3. This morning I received a text message from Rome - there is something for you hidden behind the mirror in your bedroom, it said.
I giggled like Marie Antoinette if she had eaten crack macaroons, let me tell you.
He's lovely.
Not here right now, but lovely - and coming back tomorrow. Yay!

4. Happy V day, everyone.

Oh.
People of blogland, last night I dreamt that my Place Of Work had decided to tighten up the dress code (as it is, it hasn’t been changed since 1901) and issue a list of Appropriate Under Garments.

Long brown knickers and matching tops.

So with my sternest face, I declared that is was really taking things too far and that I was quitting on the spot. Then I marched out.

It’s one of those nightmares I can’t properly shake off, though. Perhaps because it’s only one shade away from reality.
Do you know, last week, a workmate was told off because her skirt didn’t quite cover her knees when she sat down?

(I know.)

Forget bath salts- All I want for Christmas is this


EVIL CASTLE LAIR - ULTRAMODERN COMFORT WITH AN EVIL GOTHIC FLAIR!
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That's why Scaramanga & No S.A., the world's leading Evil Architects & Contractors, have introduced the VLAD TEPES SERIES EVIL CASTLE LAIR. It's a fully modern and functional lair built within a castle-shaped fiberglass shell, that looks so real it even fools English Heritage. Includes Master Bedroom, 3 guest suites, 4.5 bath, Grand Ballroom, computer center, medical center/torture chamber, indoor pool, servants barracks, home theater system, Wild Boar Feeding Arena, missile silo, and central air. Includes convenient, obvious self-destruct mechanism.
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