Blogfolk, I'm being up to my neck in things I can't relate on here, because they're too important, so I might make myself scarce on here for a while. Just because I can't multitask too well.

Be well!

This should really be an Ode to my blender

1. Ah, blogfolks, do you kow what I have been doing with my time? I do. I have been devising creative ways of producing healthy, yet tasty meals that I won't have to chew, because chew I cannot do without feeling like I've been hit in the teeth with a sack full of pebbles. At this moment in time, there are four categories of foodstuff in my world: 1. edible because liquid 2 edible because puréed or mashed, but who in their right mind would want a cup of fish? 3. edible with a copious amount of work and an interesting element of pain 4. torturous or impossible. Most foodstuff including the Best Things in the world fall neatly into category 4 and will remain there for a while, methinks.

2. When I'm not planning, swallowing or digesting mash, or maybe also when I'm doing all of those things, I am becoming addicted to a Spanish TV series that, should it be in English or French, I would never dream of watching sober. Looks like my brain as well as my chewing ability are on standby. I have watched two episodes today and all this vicarious living is starting to make me hungry.

3. Other plans include taking my Special lady Friend to France for a day, mostly so that she can have a nice lunch and perhaps stock up on pâtisseries, whilst I can order for her then mostly watch her eat.

4. Tonight, I let the cat out at night for the first time ever. I feel like an anxious parent whose 15 year old daughter has gone out on her first date. Yes, I'll be waiting up. There are foxes around, and they're not wearing braces.

5. Be well!

J's infallible guide to getting a free dinner, tip #1

Book table for two in restaurant on Valentine's night. Turn up with one rose and a watch. Place rose on table, check watch at regular intervals and sigh. Sigh some more. After a sufficient amount of time, shake head in resignation and order meal. With some luck and in an ideal world,* they shouldn't charge you for the meal. Or pour you a glass of wine on the house. Or at the very least feel sorry for you.

*being reasonably attractive might help, too.

Gloop

Potatomashwithoniongravytomatosoupporridgepotatomashwithmeltedcheesecarrotsoupporridge.

And repeat.

I can't eat solids. At lunch, my workmates look at me funny. I'm turning into a grumpy cow. I'm constantly, constantly thinking about food, because I'm constantly, constantly hungry. Gloop digests too quickly.

Thankfully, I have something left to see me through these hard times.

Riojagewurtztraminnerbrandybeerroséd'anjoumartinamarettobourgognechianticôesdurhône.

And repeat.

Train tracks

Woah, yesterday was a day and a half. As horizon-widening as it is, I don't spend all my time using soaked earphones, you know, I also go places, do things, and getting ridiculously lost. Yesterday's things involved walking around a strange northern city in a concentric way until I found myself back at my exact starting point; yesterday's people involved a very friendly, very dykey policewoman who put me in a good mood for the rest of the day, and a very brisk brazilian orthondontist who just knew what to do to sabotage that mood- I'm not a wuss, lady, it's just that hitting my teeth with pliers does hurt a wee bit.

Now I can't eat and I look like a 15 year old. And not in a good way. Did I mention that I can't eat? Sweet Jesus, help me, but more importantly, help my friends who are going to have to put up with me.

I didn't check, I put the earpiece thing right in, without pausing to think that this damn cat of mine sees mouse tails everywhere. It was very wet.

Apart from that, I've mostly been working a lot and coming home late. The cat needs to keep itself entertained somehow, pobrecito.

1. When I was eight I read a Russian children story whose morale was that people who insisted on telling their dreams should be shot because they were boring fucks. I think that's what it said anyway. Still, let me tell you that last night I dreamt that I was kissing my shrink. He didn't have a beard in the dream, either, so it was quite nice; I was smiling when I woke up.

BANG!

Still, I do wonder what it means.

2. I furiously feel like dancing salsa, but my Special Lady Friend has broken her toe kicking bricks! What are we to do? While she is mending and trying to pretend it's nothing, I'll sway about in the kitchen. Off I go. Be well!

1. About two months ago, it was; I sent her a long, long email, because we hadn't seen each other since September; I told her what I'd been doing, my plans for the next few months, my lack of good resolutions for 2007, my love life, my search for meaning and what I'd had for breakfast. How was she, still seeing the same girl, and could we meet up soonish, would she like to come over for dinner?

2. Tonight saw a reply: Must catch up soon. Call me.

Perhaps I don't deserve my friends...

1. Is it too late, bloglanders? If it is, nevermind, a happy shiny new 2007 to you anyway. I was considering joining the above demonstration against 2007 (apparently it stinks of old socks) but decided it was futile. Weren't calendars printed already? So I have given in.

2. I suppose things have got back to normal -that is to say, fairly chaotic- in the House of Y since NYE. That night I tried to get my Special Lady Friend to salsa with me ; she clearly didn't find that normal at all, but she complied with her usual good humour. Yay! I am indeed very lucky, even if she really can't salsa. Yet.
   

3. One of my presents this Christmas was a bottle of what must be my favourite wine in the world. A golden coloured, fragrant, delicate nectar, it was waiting to be packed at the bottom of the staircase. I was planning to take it back to London with me as a salsa aid, you see. Later I found a golden, fragrant puddle and a very puzzled cat with an equally fragrant front paw. What was left to do but laugh? I didn't wipe the cat's paw; who slept late the next morning.

4. In other news, all is well. Be well!
   

Blogfolk, I'm away.

Normal service will probably resume on my return, when I choose to ignore the eve of the new year too. In the meantime, happy Winter solstice, Christmas, whatever it is you celebrate. Or don't. I'll be here drinking wine by the fire and reading old books. Be well, and don't eat too much.