Restraining orders are just another way of saying I love you

How grateful I am to the Sun, for this immensely gratifying tale of stalking:
Karen had been with her childhood sweetheart Martin for ten years when he said he had met someone else. It transformed the shy, quiet Karen into an obsessive, deranged stalker. “I tried to seduce my ex wearing make up and clothes I stole from his new lover. », she said. I wonder if I could make a decent stalker. It’s an occupation that requires a higher standard of organisation and obsession that I believe I’m capable of. One thing I know for sure, though, is that I’d never steal her new lover’s clothes and/or make up to try and seduce my ex. I’m just not willing to compromise on style, thank you very much.