I got mail, or Just bear with me for two minutes

1. My grandmother’s spelling was never good, because she left school at 12. I suspect she takes her vitamins before writing me a card. When I moved to England she asked for a set of pre-written labels; she wasn’t sure she would be able to replicate my address. It had too many funny words in it, like ‘street’ and ‘London’. Today I received a card and like every time that happens I cried a little. She writes, in substance: "I think of you often. I hope you’re finding the strength to accept life as it is."
I think of her often.

2. My father usually forgets or ignores birthdays, because they call for a display of affection. I got one email, though, one day, three years ago tomorrow. It says something like this:
“On May 21st 19blah, outside the bedroom window I planted something. When your mother and I divorced, I took a cutting with me. I can see it now in my garden, it’s a tree and it’s done really well.”
Every time I think about it, I cry. I can’t help it, people.

3. People of blogland, I’m dehydrated; also I better go wash my face. I put fake tan Sunkissed Skin on this morning and if I don’t wash it off I’ll be all streaky. I can’t be streaky and older.

4. Tomorrow will also be my Special Lady Friend’s birthday, as well as Jeffrey Dahmer’s. I believe that this was the chat-up line I used on her when we first met, and she wasn’t even put off. Happy birthday to all of us! especially to those of us who don’t make a habit of keeping our lovers’ head in the fridge.