Cherry bomb Part One
1. Because it’s cold, I’ve had to have three desserts tonight. Look out for headlines in tomorrow’s newspapers: ‘Girl explodes. Cherries suspected.’
2. Saturday night's storm was only a little one. I blame the gay day and the gay beer and the infinitely cute lesbians in kilts, which distracted me and affected my vigilance. On Sunday, we made up over a bottle of mineral water, and tried to define the terms of our non-relationship relationship; then we went to our respective abodes, perhaps to confirm, solemnly, the fact that it’s not just about shagging.
3. It’s not just about shagging, you know.
4. But it’s not a relationship.
5. I wonder if she’s got a kilt…
Cherry Bomb Part Two
or 'TMI, sometimes'
- B, I say, I’m going to have explosive diarrhoea. 1 kilo of cherries.
- Nice. Thanks for sharing. Who said romance was dead?
- Romance IS dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Disney and Hallmark, homogenised and sold off piece by piece.
- Such cynicisms in someone so young, it’s heartbreaking.. I need a card to make me feel better. A personalised one.
- Oh, honey, I’ll make you one, to go with the apron I’m going to knit for you, remember?
- Just make sure it has a pocket, so I can carry the card with me always… and stop it now, you’re scaring me.
- Hey, you’re the one talking about romance.. I don’t want romance.. therefore I share information about my ‘splosive ass. It’s a preventive measure.
- Commitment phobe.. and there’s me, going through the yellow pages.. .remov.. can’t spell U-heals…joke!
- HAUls. U-Hauls. Page 56. I got it book marked.
- Where is my inhaler? Crash cart, anyone?
- But seriously.. winter wedding maybe? You’d look so good in black against a back drop of snow.. and we could have little flower girls dressed as fairies.. or maybe big flower boys dressed as fairies.
- Oh no. eek.
- Hey, you were the one in a wedding dress on Saturday.
- This is an automated message service. Freda isn’t available at the moment; she’s rounding up the chickens and goats for sacrifice. 23.30 Friday. Don’t be late. Anyway, I’m sorry… Do I know you? Where did you get this number? Stop hassling me.
Michel Simon dans un musée du sexe ?
4 years ago
10 comments:
God I've missed reading your blog!
x
Bless you for being bonkers, Y.
x
You are so funny.
You make it sound such fun, I think I'm going to be a lesbian in my next life.
So it IS all about the shagging, then?
PPQ is back! Yay!
Jacqui- who, me? No. Never.
Waterhot - you want to think that one through very, very carefully. For one thing, for every super cute lesbian in a kilt, there's a serious neurosis.
(But I do recommend the sex.)
Anne - what, do you want a pie chart? A graph? I'll think about it.
It's all very Queer.
ahem..
So you recommend sex with a cute lesbian in kilt?
The Kilt-neurosis is an English phenomenon I think. I'm sure Ysengrin, that if you tried to be less English it would go away.
Unless it is a skirt neurosis in disguise...
So hang on, let me get this straight (if you'll pardon the use of such a vulgar word here, of all places) : does the serious neurosis come with the cute kilted lesbian, or is it simply a 50-50 split down the middle, either-or sort of thing ? Not that I'm overly risk averse or anything, but I like to know the odds I'm playing to, especially when it comes to planning future incarnations.
Edith : I don't know if I should recommend sex with a cute lesbian in kilt. I haven't tried it. yet. But if I do, I'll get back to you.
I'm not sure how to go about being less English. I checked my passport, it's still not English. I don't sound English. I don't look English (I'm told).. how do I get less English?
Waterhot : I'm not sure, but i'm willing to carry out a survey. Just for you, and in the interest of science. Of course.
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