Crisis
I wish I hadn’t sold my copy of Lesbianism made easy on ebay for £5. It’s hard being without direction, you know.
I need my textbook back. The slim volume that was supposed to throw open the secret compartments of Sapphic joy – and possibly solve my identity crisis and other related problems. I was so intent on getting rid of just about everything -save the cat and my 100% Irish linen bed sheets- that I, carelessly, flippantly, sold it to a less enlightened being. No more source of wisdom. How do I cope with the fact that lesbians are everywhere – choosing pets, hiring removal vans, posing for magazine spreads, having sex with everyone but me – since the one I’d like to be having sex with in a removal van is all the way over there when I am over here. How do I cope with this long-distance thing? How do I cope on Thursday evenings when the cat and the linen bed sheets are all I come home to – and on that day, the cat pukes his dinner prawns? I reckon Pining made less agonizing needs to be written.

In the meantime, I’m selling my stuff on ebay. I’m very competitive. I have The Master’s Manual left, as well as Macho Sluts and Spank Me Silly. I made that last one up. Anyhow, your SAE gets a full list.