I’ve just called my bank.
Just how many loops do we have to jump through before getting to talk to a human being?
I bet we’ll be getting something like this soon:

Thank you for calling the Fire station. Your call is important to us.
If you can smell smoke, please press 1
If you are singed, please press 2.
If you are losing consciousness, please press 3.
For any other option, please wait for an operator.

You are singed.
If your hair is singed, please press 1
If your clothes are burning, please press 2
If your skin is blistered, please press 3
For any other option, please wait for an operator.

Your hair is singed.
If your hair is blond, please press 1.
If you’re a brunette, please press 2
If your hair is red, please press 3.

Your hair is red.
Oh dear.
Please hold on – you are 47th in the queue.
Your call is important to us.
Please hold on.
An operator will answer you shortly.
Your call is important to us.
Please hold on.


Pah. I haven’t been able to take firemen seriously since I heard about that bunch of guys who’d taken to organise paying orgies in their fire station, took pictures, put them on the web- and were found out. It’s not illegal in itself, but it just doesn’t look good, does it.