Post break-up revisionism, or it looks like I'm not done yet.

A. How to become a relationship revisionist in easy steps.

B. Definition:
· Among historians, revisionism has traditionally been used in a completely neutral sense to describe the work or ideas of a historian who has revised a previously accepted view of a particular topic.
· More generally, revisionism is used by non-historians as a pejorative term for biased historical work which denies that some past events took place.

C. Instructions and mode of action
1 Block out all good memories. Things that you thought were good then were only a figment of your imagination. Diagnose self-delusion, and a subsequent happy recovery.
You never were in love with a wonderful person, you never planned to buy furniture/steal kitchen utensils/adopt a Chinese orphan together, and the sex was never amazing, or if it was, it was only thanks to you.

2 Revel in bad memories. The time s/he snapped/ignored/hurt you. Forget you ever snapped/ignored/rejected/hurt her/him.

3 Establish that things that sucked then suck more now, with hindsight; bad things can be dragged out and highlighted, turned into anecdotes and fables.

4 At this point, consider finding a derogatory nickname for the ex friend or lover you're trying to get over. Suggestions: Arseface, The Cunt, Crazy Sarah (everyone knows a Sarah.)

5 Said nickname will help safely compartmentalise the terminated relationship and label the ex friend or lover.

D. Results

What's a little self righteousness/self deceit/denial in the face of oblivion/a brand new page? And amusing stories to tell your friends about your ex that was so, so bad.

E. Honesty no section E. Sorry.

F. The final quote : Toute histoire est histoire contemporaine.