The real ordeal
Tonight, internet, I had to stand up and make a speech in front of two hundred people. Strangers and colleagues.
Before I walked onto to the stage, I spared a thought for the brave, brave soul in my (past) life who once had a shot at stand up comedy. At least, I didn’t have to be funny. Except funny to look at, perhaps.
Surprisingly, all went well; I heard my voice lift up, clearer and stronger than I expected. Some faces even lit up as I was delivering my totally non-prepared spiel. I’m being proud, Internet!
Next time though, I have to remember to not eat figs before a speech. You see, internet, dried fruit makes me fart, so I had to clench my bum throughout the whole thing. That was the real ordeal.
I’m in such a poetic mood tonight.