It’s almost like that MIWLTF thing, and it’s disturbing.

I’ll take your mother out, so you can have some free time, Jacqui says. I quite like older women, she says, and winks.
Oh, I can just hear that conversation.
Mother, a friend of mine would like to take you out tonight.
I said, a friend of mine would like to take you out. Yes, tonight.
How old? Oh, 30.
So?
His name? Oh.
Jacqui.
Yes, it’s a she.
What do you mean, why does she want to take you out? Because she likes moms.. I mean, because she obviously heard a lot about you.
No you can’t wear that.
Etc.
Oh, it’s so, so wrong.
In the meantime, mother has buggered off to the Chelsea Flower show. If you happen to be there and see a red-haired Frenchwoman in a designer dress and my old converse, do say hi. .