Let’s focus for a minute

1. Sometimes, often, she looks at me and says: ‘Odd woman. I would never have thought you’d do that.’ I’m oddly pleased, strangely flattered.

2. She’ says ‘muppet’; I say ‘silly bint’. She says ‘shag’; I say ‘fuck’. She says ‘arse’; I say ‘ass’. She says ‘faggot’; I say ‘gay homosexual’. We won’t call the whole thing off.


3 I touch her and listen to her stories. I daydream of her body and laugh trying to imitate her accent. I’m obsessed with the smoothness of her stomach and listen to her scouse consonants.

4 I tease, I play, I threaten, I promise. I make her blush, I make her hot, I make her moan, and when the last wave has subsided, I take her hand and squeeze it. Hard.

5 I don’t think we have a future together. I don’t wish to discuss it with her.