Bubble

Today I would like to be unbearably smug and brag about my job performance review. (It's got another name in my line of work, but nevermind.It's the same idea.)

To be honest, I was relieved to not be told that I had delusions of adequacy or that I would be out of my depth in a parking lot puddle.
A part of me always doubts. A part of me always sneers inside, secure in the knowledge that I am nothing but a fraud. An impostor. Some day the truth will be revealed - yes I do have all those degrees and professional qualifications and years of experience - but, really, I'm not very good at all. I just look the part and wear the clothes, I'm only just pretending. Yes, the work gets done, but that's mainly luck, really.

So today I got a healthy dose of the fuel that is unmitigated, glowing praise. Well. I sat there, uncomfortable, flattered, even blushing, I believe.
I'm trying to get the sneering, doubting part of me to just shut the fuck up and enjoy it.
That's all.