Lover letters straight from the heart
[Please see disclaimer at the bottom of the post.]

Dear A,
This will be the last letter I write to you. I know it must be hard fro you right now, but still I think we have made the right decision. Thank you for your love. I want you to know that our time together will live inside a special place in my heart, and it’s definitely best if we do not phone or write or anything.
Love always,
Y.

Dear A,
I called you last night because I finally found that brownie recipe and I thought you’d like to have it. Anyway, while I was leaving a message I accidentally punched in your message-retrieval code. So sorry about that. So clumsy of me. Who’s Melinda? Just wondered.
Y.

Dear A,
I realised I still had that copy of ‘ Relationships for dummies’ I got for you that day and I was wondering when might be a convenient time to drop it off. Give me a call at the usual number. This will be my last letter.
Regards,
Y

Dear A,
It was a lucky coincidence that my cat speed-dialled your number last night, as it gave us a chance to talk again. Afterwards, I was wondering what you meant by ‘it’s over, Y, get that into your head’. So many different interpretations. Just wondering. You know. Oh, I found myself on your street last night and I noticed a silver mini with rainbow flags that I don’t remember belonged to any of your neighbours. Is this the mysterious Melinda I’ve heard rumours about? No big deal, just curious. What was that loud music?
With respect,
Y
PS- do you have my red pentel pen? I really, really need it.

Dear A,
This will be the last letter I write to you. I’m quite upset that you changed your phone number so suddenly. Anyway. I hate to hurt you like this, but I’m seeing someone else. Her name is Alfreda and she’s also an Aries, like you. But the real reason I’m writing (and this will be my last letter) is that I’m still in possession of all your back issues of On Our backs Magazine, before it went glossy. I know they must be precious to you, since we bought them together that day we met up with your mother and she was raving about me, saying I was ‘pleasant’. Please come and pick them up. Alfreda is giving me a hard time about them and I don’t want your stuff to damage my new relationship. By the way, there’s someone called Melinda on the internet who’s trying to pick up girls. Mmm…
Y.

Dear A,
Your birthday is tomorrow, and I hope you don’t mind me throwing this little note through the window. The post would be far too slow. The rock it’s tied to comes from our trip to Cowsville! I was wondering if you’d like to get together for a birthday dinner, you can bring Melinda if you want. I would also like my letters back from you, could you bring this one too? I’ll also bring your copy of ‘Relationships for dummies’. Can you let me know soon? I’m waiting outside on the lawn. This will be my last letter to you.
With respect,
Y.


Disclaimer: I have to insist on the fact that this post is in no way based on real events or persons. Moreover, I would never give back a copy of ‘Relationships for dummies.’ And I would never stalk an ex, even telephonically, especially one on a different continent; it’d be far too expensive. Also I never even met her mother, so there.